Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
