I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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