He kissed a someone with a penis
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize