Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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