based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
