my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
its liver damage thursday
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
