I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
