I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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