I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
