So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
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