After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
