well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
