You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize