Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Did I show you my penis last night?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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