i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
