She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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