so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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