Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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