one two three fourrrrnication!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
