Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
