He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
