My first STD was from a foam party
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
where does the pee come out of this thing
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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