She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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