he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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