He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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