Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
