So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It was like getting head from an anaconda
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
