I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
