I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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