I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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