I wish my penis had an off switch
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize