He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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