I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
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