so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
