While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
