While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
