I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
