I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
