Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
