When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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