The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
