I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
