And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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