Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
