I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
