just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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