I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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