He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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