Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
