he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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