My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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