Sry I called you an 8
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
