Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
