brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Randomize
