Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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