How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If I die, sorry about rent.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
