I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
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