Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
