You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize