That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
