Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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