You're completely useless in the revolution.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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