Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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